im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
