I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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