you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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