just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
