I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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