I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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