Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
