man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
