It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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