i permit you to call me
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
