Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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