Do you still have your period?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
