There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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