i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
