I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
