escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
