Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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