I don't usually arrange sex via text message
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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