I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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