i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
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