my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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