I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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