He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
