Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
