The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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