so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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