Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
