How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
