so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
even my farts smell like vagina
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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