My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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