I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
