I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
