so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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