I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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