so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize