the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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