I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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