If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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