So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
