I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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