Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
