That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
His nipple licking is glorious
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