Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
