My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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