So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
