I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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