I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Is her dick bigger than yours?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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