i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
you made out with another girl for some wings
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
