dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
