does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
