I look better un-naked...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
