So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
