I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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