my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
