now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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