I feel great
I just peed on a car
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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