problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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