hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
