Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
