She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
