my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
