i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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