I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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