He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
