There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
