I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
