Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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