yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
