I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
